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Hayley orders this to break the poor employee behind the counter, and the writers kept every detail straight-faced enough to follow. Two slices of turkey, dry. One slice of ham, wet. Half a slice of roast beef, torn rather than cut. Four pickles, two olives. Spicy mustard made from fourteen mustard seeds.
So I followed it word for word, Dijon on the board, picking seeds out one at a time. The lesson is that the order is not just annoying, it is genuinely badly designed: fourteen seeds are nowhere near enough to season anything, so the sandwich has no sauce at all, and what is left is dry bread, a scrap of meat and enough pickle and olive to make the whole thing sour. It earns its 4.2 honestly.
Ingredients
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- Hot dog bun1 six-inch wheat sub roll
- Turkey breast2 slices turkey breast
- Ham1 slice ham
- Ground beefHalf a slice of roast beef
- Dill pickle4 pickle slices
- Olives2 olives
- Yellow mustard14 mustard seeds
Recipe
- 1Split the six-inch wheat roll. No toasting: the order does not call for it.
- 2Blot the turkey dry with a napkin and lay both slices down.
- 3Wet the ham — a spray of water is enough — and add the single slice on top.
- 4Cut the roast beef slice in half, tear that half apart by hand and scatter it over. The other half is not used.
- 5Add four pickle slices and two olives.
- 6Pick fourteen mustard seeds out of a jar of wholegrain or Dijon mustard, crush them, and spread that over the roll. That is the entire sauce.
- 7Close it and eat it while wondering what Hayley has against that employee.
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