Hayley’s Impossible Order

Name: Hayley’s Impossible Order
Cuisine: American
Ingredients: 1 six-inch wheat sub roll; 2 slices turkey breast; 1 slice ham; Half a slice of roast beef; 4 pickle slices; 2 olives; 14 mustard seeds

From American Dad! →Watch me make it →

—community · no votes yet4.2BM score

5.0

Slide to rate

About

Hayley orders this to break the poor employee behind the counter, and the writers kept every detail straight-faced enough to follow. Two slices of turkey, dry. One slice of ham, wet. Half a slice of roast beef, torn rather than cut. Four pickles, two olives. Spicy mustard made from fourteen mustard seeds.

So I followed it word for word, Dijon on the board, picking seeds out one at a time. The lesson is that the order is not just annoying, it is genuinely badly designed: fourteen seeds are nowhere near enough to season anything, so the sandwich has no sauce at all, and what is left is dry bread, a scrap of meat and enough pickle and olive to make the whole thing sour. It earns its 4.2 honestly.

Ingredients

0 / 7

Hot dog bun1 six-inch wheat sub roll
Turkey breast2 slices turkey breast
Ham1 slice ham
Ground beefHalf a slice of roast beef
Dill pickle4 pickle slices
Olives2 olives
Yellow mustard14 mustard seeds

Recipe

1
Split the six-inch wheat roll. No toasting: the order does not call for it.
2
Blot the turkey dry with a napkin and lay both slices down.
3
Wet the ham — a spray of water is enough — and add the single slice on top.
4
Cut the roast beef slice in half, tear that half apart by hand and scatter it over. The other half is not used.
5
Add four pickle slices and two olives.
6
Pick fourteen mustard seeds out of a jar of wholegrain or Dijon mustard, crush them, and spread that over the roll. That is the entire sauce.
7
Close it and eat it while wondering what Hayley has against that employee.